I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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