Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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