it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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