what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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