I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
