Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
