we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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