I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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