I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
