My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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