I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
