your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
