we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
