Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just google imaged poop.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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