i already hear my dad disowning me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
