He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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