Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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