hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
ok first of all what the fuck
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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