I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
