Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
