Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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