Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
