please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
