Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love you. Go after that dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
