wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
