I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
