I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
