Yo dont text me then not text me
She said her name was "party"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize