I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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