i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
