we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
