I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
