u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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