He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
