Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
