scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
