I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
