why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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