In the future we'll all be gay
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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