OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
