giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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