Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
