I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
