I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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