My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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