shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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