I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
