Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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