Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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