i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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