i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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