i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
