I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
