bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
