Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
