Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
