You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
