I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
