Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
