Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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